9 Quotes & Sayings By Joe Derouen

Joe DeRouen is a comedian, writer, and teacher. He has been featured on The Tonight Show with Jay Leno, HBO's Def Comedy Jam, the Comedy Central Roasts and a host of other shows. He is the creator of his own one-man show "Napoleon Dynamite: The Musical" which was a finalist for Best Solo Performance at the 2009 Drama Desk Awards. In 2010 he headlined his own show "Napoleon Dynamite: The Musical The Movie" at the Hollywood Pantages Theatre Read more

It earned him a spot on The Hollywood Reporter's list of "Top Ten Acts To See in 2010".

1
She stared at her face in the mirror, feeling everything around her slipping away. The face stared back, and she wondered who was looking at her. Joe DeRouen
2
Finally, mercifully, the spasms subsided, as the old man’s head lolled back, his mouth hanging open, taking in deep, ragged breaths of stale, recirculated air. Joe DeRouen
3
She stared at the phone, feeling guilty. She finally slid across the overstuffed Pleather couch and away from watching old episodes of The Twilight Zone. She was free tonight, apparently, so she might as well pay Ben a visit. She picked up the phone and dialed his cell. Joe DeRouen
4
Fred Ruskin barreled through the rain down Buchanan Street in his battered Pacer, the jar his dead wife had directed him to retrieve from his nephew’s coffin bouncing in the seat beside him. Joe DeRouen
5
She suddenly felt herself gasping for air, as if she’d momentarily forgotten how to breathe. She rocked back in her chair and nearly fell over, then slumped against the green-covered table. The bowl fell from her fingers, shattering at her feet, broken glass scattering everywhere. Joe DeRouen
6
Thinking about such things soothed the creature as it dug at the base of a tall oak tree, deep into the ground, covering itself with dirt and leaves and moss; hiding, healing, waiting. Joe DeRouen
7
Shawn slowly climbed the old wooden stairs, listening to the low creak that sounded from his footsteps. He hoped the wood wouldn’t collapse beneath him. But the stairs held strong and a moment later he joined his friend in the kitchen of the old house, a wave of suffocating humidity washing over them as they stepped deeper into its secrets. Joe DeRouen
8
Where moments before the bright morning sun flickered through the branches of the huge oak trees surrounding the property, every-thing in a ten yard radius immediately went pitch dark. The air, already a chilly fifty degrees, dropped past freezing in an instant, and the pressure changed to the point where he thought his eardrums might burst. Joe DeRouen